My Life and all the Random Little Things

2009-10-25T12:54:00.002+08:00

okay this is funny..haven't typed in ages!! hmm.. so what to say? um.. i'm currently sitting for the first half of my finals! and 4 more papers to go! i almost scrapped a car yesterday and took its side mirror off (or my car's side mirror off..yup..that's right..i can drive!! hehe!) while trying to park in a space yesterday. haha!

trying to figure out how to pay online for a ticket i got the other day now.. haha! and oh i figured it out already! haha! krispy kreme's new york cheesecake doughnuts are awesome! and i'm not promoting the doughnuts but honestly they're YUMMY.so um, don't have much to say so yup.. maybe will update another day! =D

2008-06-04T09:47:00.002+08:00

Mood : Jumpy ( I want to dance!)
Currently listening to : Lady Gaga - Just Dance

Hello! As usual, i take AGES to post. oh whatever. anyway recent updates...erm..oh yes!mid year exams were over some time ago..i'm into my last week of holidays now.it's ending already!went to taman negara last saturday..came back on monday..surprisingly i enjoyed it more than i thought.had REALLY painful cramps on the first day and i had to miss the night walk but oh well.went rapids shooting on the second day.it was FUN!i wasn't very wet-that is until our guide did me the 'favour' of completely drenching me in water using the oar he was holding(don't know how to explain how he did it though ^_^ ).

on the last day we went on a boat ride..i liked it! the air was so fresh and clean..and everywhere was green..the water was refreshing...so relaxing *sigh* then we stopped at kelar(?) sanctuary which is a place where they breed a rather expensive type of fish..to prevent the rivers from having no fishes..cause apparently they are over-fished?hmm.

and the people there..are so friendly and simple-minded.nice people.my guide for the boat ride gave me three coconut paus.very yummy.and just looking at their lifestyle..i feel so humbled somehow.it's like there they have a small income and they manage to live on that.and they're happy and all.makes me feel like i take way too many things for granted. =/ argh.i just DON'T KNOW how to describe how i feel about the life there.it has to be experienced to be understood.and OH! i went for the canopy walk too!45m above ground..is HIGH.i was FREAKED OUT.but at the same time i was super excited.guess i can say i was thrilled.but the whole way i kept praying "God help me" .LOL! but i still did it! yay to me! it's definitely worth it.a great experience.

anyway i gotta go shopping now so will post later again! =)

2008-02-16T23:28:00.002+08:00

Mood : Sleepy
Currently listening to : Colbie Caillat - Realise

Mmm..i like this song..so relaxing..all the more i'm dozing off..i smell like mango and vanilla..thanks to the lotion from Body Shop..not that i'm complaning..currently looking at food recipes..so yummy!i'm practically drooling...they look so yummy..that's it!i'm cooking tomorrow!and i'm baking a cookies and cream cheesecake tomorrow!hope it comes out well!hehe!thinking of making dulce de leche too if i have the time..still not done with homework!and my moral assignment!ugh!celebrated chinese new year recently..it was just okay..bit more fun this year..spent more time in malls than in people's houses..lol!okay i'm STILL drooling at all the yummy food recipes..can't peel my eyes away from them..getting hungry!!went for an audition today...sang a duet called quando quando quando with chris..was nervous..was sweating..my face felt hot and my hand holding the mic was shaking..haha!but even if we don't get through..i don't mind..i gave it my best..so thank God..=) but the song is a nice song..it has a very romantic jazzy feel to it..i always feel so woozy every time i listen to it..lol!been eating A LOT recently..took pictures of some of the yummy stuff i had..shall post them here later..by the way..crabtree and evelyn's white chocolate raspberry cookies are quite nice!anyway super tired so i gotta run!

quotes-again!

2007-12-18T15:42:00.000+08:00

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”-Neil Gaiman

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”-Dr.Seuss

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. -Kahlil Gibran

Often it is the most deserving people who cant help but love those who destroy them.

You said u would always be there for me...i guess we have different definitions of always.

One night the moon said to me, "If he makes u cry, why dont u leave him?"...i looked at the moon and said, "Moon, would u ever leave ur sky?"

When u hate it, it always seems to last...when u love it, it goes away too fast.

"The best accessories a girl can have are her closest friends.”-Paris Hilton

One of the worst feelings in the world is to have lost the one u love and then still love then with all ur heart...u go to sleep at night thinking of them and wake up the same...but the worst thing is dreaming of him every night, just like u were still together...then u wake up crying cause u know it will never be the same...and u know it could've been ur fault hes gone.

It breaks ur heart to see the one u love is happy with someone else...but its more painful to know that the one u love is unhappy with u.

Well im going to get out of bed each morning and breathe in and out all day long. Then after a while i wont have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out. And then after a while, i wont have to think about how great and perfect i had it once.

Leave me in peace. Let me sleep once at least without my pillow being wet with tears, my eyes burning and my head throbbing. Let me get away from it all. Preferably the world.~Anne Frank

Id like to believe that ill wake up one morning and not miss him anymore...ill finally understand that when he broke my heart it was for a reason, one i just dont understand yet, but when i do ill know that he messed up and not me.

If u love someone enough, u can still hear the laughter when theyre gone.

Uve changed so much...i guess thats what happens...i wish u knew how much uve changed me...i wonder if ive changed u, if ur life is different because of me...because mines different...my god, u taught me so much, and now we barely even talk to each other...i guess thats what happens...i guess thats just life.

No matter how many times the one u love brings u pain ull never shut them out of ur life if u truly love them.

So what if i told u i wanted u back, so what if i loved u like that, would u break my heart like u did the last time, or is it that u really wanna be mine...what would u do, what would u say, if i told u i wanted us back "that way?"

Dont stress it cause someday the one they gave away, will be the only one their wishing for.

I dont know if im getting better or just used to the pain.

As long as one heart still holds on, then hope is never really gone.

Sometimes u have to lose someone completely before u realize what they really meant to u.

I miss the days when u held me, and the days i heard ur voice...i miss the days when u were here, us falling apart was not my choice...i miss the days when u kissed me, and the feelings u used to show...but more then anything else, i miss the guy i thought to know.

I wish i had the guts to walk away and forget everything, but i cant cause i know u wont come after me and that is what hurts the most.

I never stopped loving u, i just stop letting it show.

Im not going to hate him because u want me to...im not going to be mean to him just because he was mean to me...im not going to fall out of love with him, just because he fell out first...im going to sit next to him, im going to talk to him, im going to be his best friend...unlike u, i do not hate him for what he did, i am not mad, i no longer hurt...i do miss him sometimes more then others, today was one of those sometimes...i miss talking to him, i miss hugging him, i miss sharing everything with him...i dont miss being with him really, i just miss him being there...i want him in my life, and if i have to come home every night and cry myself to sleep because i am not the person who makes him happy, i will...but i will not hate him, i will not be mad at him...i will be his friend.

Ive accepted that we cant be, but ive also accepted that ur going to be that one person i carry with me for the rest of my life...the one that is always going to make my heart jump a lil and my stomach tie up in knots...no matter how happy i am otherwise and no matter how long its been.

No matter what u do, ull never be able to forget that one person from ur past who changed everything u thought u stood for...the sad part is that they probably found it ridiculously easy to forget u.

Missing u isnt the hardest part, its knowing i once had u that breaks my heart.

What's a great love? its when u shed tears and still u care for him...its when he ignores u and still u long for him...its when he begins to love another and yet u still smile and say im happy for u.

People say the only way to get rid of the pain is to let go, but letting go only clears a place for it to start all over again.

Maybe one day u will realize i mean as much to u...just as much as u have to me...but hopefully by then i wont need u anymore...because i already know how that story ends...and to be honest i dont think that i can handle that hurt again.

True love never lives happily ever after...true love has no ending. -K. Knight

Its better to lose ur pride to the one u love, then lose the one u love because of pride.

Dont give up on love, because there is always someone who loves u...even if its not the person u were hoping for.

When the world feels like its on ur shoulder, look at the person next to u and see what they are going thru...dont take life for granted...love the one that loves u, because sometimes we dont get a second chance.

life is too short.grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.laugh when you can,apologise when you should,and let go of what you can't change.love deeply and forgive quickly,take chances,give everything,and have no regrets.life is too short to be unhappy,you have to take the good with the bad.smile when you're sad,love what you've got and always remember what you had.always forgive but never forget,learn from your mistakes but never regret.people change,and things go wrong,but always remember,life goes on!

as we grow up,we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.You'll break hearts too,so remember how it felt when yours was broken.You'll fight with your best friend.You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.You'll cry because time is passing too fast,and you'll eventually lose someone you love.So take too many pictures,laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

ramblings..

2007-12-18T12:46:00.000+08:00

Mood : energetic,bored,restless
Currently listening to : Angela Ammons - Always Getting Over You

Hey!today i shall type a very long post!lol!i can't remember when but one of the weeks in november i went to Kuching,Sarawak.stayed there for 4 days 3 nights,i think.it was a beautiful place,very relaxing,laidback town and it was very safe!you can walk around swinging your handbag without worrying someone will abduct you!but there wasn't much to do there..i scoured a couple of the malls there and i finished it in less than an hour!but the food in kuching was not bad..reasonably priced i think.oh,but mcdonald's there was more expensive..and coffee bean too i think.and the magazines and food in the supermarket too!my heart was aching when i wanted to buy food,seeing how i had to pay much more for it.lol!went sight-seeing..went to a cat museum which had so many things about cats you'd probably dream about cats at night.to me,the highlight of the trip was when we went to a place where we got to visit and know more about the ethnics living in Sarawak.there was a cultural dance performed and it was really good!i took pictures with a Penan man,visited all the longhouses of the Kadazan,Melanau,and etc.oh and i tried blowing on the blowpipe..and failed miserably..lol!the Penan man was like smirking and said to me "monkey laugh you".i was like "aaahh!".lol!and the weather at night was cooling..afternoon's were REALLY hot though.oh and we bought about 8 'kek lapis' home.crazy!lol!

On the 1st of Dec went to Bali.It was a fun trip..stayed in hard rock hotel for 4 days and 3 nights.the pool in hard rock hotel is amazing!it's beautiful..really like a real beach!there were cabana's here and there..a nice sight!there was a part in the pool where they imitated a real beach..so there was sand in the pool..to make it seem as if you were in the ocean when you stepped on the ground.and there was a fake beach complete with a beach volleyball court on land.and the most amusing thing was that you could listen to music underwater as you're swimming..i practically laughed at that!it's so cute!and they had water slides too..very fun..i was running up and down just so i could sit on the slides..and i was playing by myself..lol!okay but anyway.went sight-seeing to a few temples..and a couple of them had BEAUTIFUL sceneries..two of them(i think) were overlooking the indian ocean..gorgeous..just looking at the waves crashing on the shore made me feel so serene somehow.i had to wear a sarong over my shorts though because shorts were not allowed into the temple as a sign of respect.Balinese culture is very interesting..i totally enjoyed looking at the carvings made on the walls of the temples..it was so intricate.and Bali has dogs everywhere!it's like almost every home owns a dog.oh i remember there was one temple we went to that has monkeys EVERYWHERE and we had to be careful with our belongings such as spectacles,sunglasses,cap,pouch,camera and etc because they would snatch it from us!and they're so fast you won't even have time to grab for your stuff.but if you give them food they'll give your stuff back.lol!our tour guide was a nice man.rather friendly and he spoke english quite fluently..he can also speak japanese!so i had a rather fun time trying to improve my japanese with him.lol!the people in Bali learn at least 3 languages..that is Balinese,Indonesian and English.but many of them can converse in more than that..there are some of them who can speak korean,japanese,russian and french.i really respect them..it's amazing how they can converse in 4-5 languages..and the beach there is beautiful..i ate dinner at one of the beaches and i watched the sunset..it was beautiful!sometimes it just amazes me over nad over again that Earth is such a BeAuTiFuL place.i just can't get over it.lol!the dinner was nice..a HUGE seafood platter for each person which had a whole fish,prawns,sotong,and 2 crabs..we also had soup and a plate of fruits for each person.tell me how i cannot get fat.lol!but i was too annoyed to really enjoy it because flies were swarming everywhere!but the stupidest part was they all went away when it got dark.ish.shopping there is also great!i bought two sundresses..one white with a floral motive and a pink one..also bought a hard rock top..flip flops..handcrafted rings..and a pink bikini!lol!went to do water sports too..did jet skiing,flying fish(which is like 3 banana boats combined and a speed boat lifts the huge 'matress' into the air and you're like 'standing'..in the air.lol..also did parasailing!but i got a cut in the sole of my right foot which hurt.couldn't walk properly..oh well..also did a temporary tattoo in the shapy of a butterfly..had it behind my right shoulder(i sure know how to waste money).ate in the pizza hut there too..which was so different from the pizza hut's back home!they had like so many different pizzas..i didn't know which one to eat!finally decided on one call americanas(i think) and some other one with mayonaise.they were yummy!and i had avocado juice in pizza hut for the first time..i was so thick and yummy..left me feeling so full!lotsa hot guys too,especially caucasians..not like i was looking..lol!oh yea,also went for aromatherapy spa..it was kinda interesting but i felt kinda icky being covered with stuff and lying on a bed with it.and it felt kinda weird having people rub and scrub you all over,and on your chest.lol!but overall it was a really good trip..i love the beach!

came back home..rested for two days..and off we were again to chiang mai!i really liked this trip too..went there 4 days 3 nights..reached the airport and immediately ate ice cream..coz me tummy hurt..lol..dairy queen's ice cream is yummy!had strawberry.met our tour guide..i think he's thai-chinese but anyway he is quite fit..his body is very toned..(can't believe i'm talking bout this..lol) but yea apparently he works out a lot so no wonder.but anyway we went sight seeing of course..to one or two temples i think.we were on tour with another family from singapore so yea it was quite an okay group.we also went to chiang rai.it took us 3 1/2 hours to get there,4 1/2 hours to get back and the road was super windy..had more than 500 sharp curves..before we reached there,went to look at some hot springs where ladies were selling boiled eggs which were boiled in the hot spring to be eaten..then we reached there..looked at a temple and was at mae sai where we went to the hillside tribal village..got to see many tribes such as akha,palong and the long neck karen.took pictures with all of them..but the akha tribe..which is the tribe where the women wear huge metal earrings..had so cute children i just HAD to take a picture with them!then we were also at some place where we could see two different countries and they were all separated by the river..i was on thailand..and opposite me across the river was Laos..and up ahead was myanmar..i was so amazed.we drove to the border of myanmar where i had yummy ice cocoa with some very yummy biscuits i knew i would have eaten tons of if there was that many given to me.the drinks there are so cheap!like cocoa is 250 or 450 baht.fruit drinks for 250-300 baht.i totally went gaga over fruit drinks.i drank one really delicious one made of papaya,pineapple,fuji apple and strawberries.YUMMY!and it was only 300 baht!how can i get it at THAT price back home?strawberries are also everywhere..you can get a cup at 200 baht!cheap!and i ate pomegranate too for the first time..it's yummy except hard work because i had to take out all the seeds seeing how i didn't want to eat it.and i bought a strawberry daifuku too..it was interesting.lol!the night bazaar in chiang mai is really good too!i bought bauble lights which came in three colours(pastel pink,magenta and white),a handbag.i also had my nails painted for only 100 baht and put some sparkly strands into my hair.and all these i got for less than a 100 bucks!i'm so glad..lol!and the weather there is cooling..very nice.oh yeah,DVDs there are super cheap(pirated of course)!but not as cheap as it was in Bali which was 3.50 bucks per DVD.pirated also.in chiang mai it was about 7.50 bucks.lol.still cheap i guess?had thai massage there too..painful!and i don't think i'll be able to get used to eating northern thai cuisine everyday.oh yeah,also went to this thingy called kantoke which is like a cultural show but you can eat your dinner there while watching..some of the performances were not bad but i wasn't really paying attention..i like the one where the guy danced with swords though.but the fried chicken there was good!lol!but i know that if i do go there again,i'll definitely drink up on fruit juice!lol!

okay..i've used up quite a fair bit of my energy already..i feel calmer.lol..will post later!

2007-11-24T20:17:00.000+08:00

recently i've been doing a lot of things...and had no time to blog here..haha..went to a orchestra..a spanish one..it was good..the tenor had an amazing voice..am taking part in the choir for my church's christmas musical..i'm so excited!guitar exam's next week..barely practiced..=S feeling guilty for not studying at all..argh..bought a purple dress and wore it to the orchestra..but sometimes do you just feel so down and hurt and upset that you feel like hiding in a corner or just sitting on your bed and bawling your eyes out?what if you don't know why you're hurt?or maybe you do know why but you don't want to admit it..what do you do then?i'm so confused..=S

The Poem

2007-10-17T10:37:00.000+08:00

Hey..i found this poem meaningful so yea i'll just post it here..kinda lazy today..and i have to go study..argh..

The Poem
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.....
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die .
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God! held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Diffi cult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Mixed Tape...

2007-10-07T02:24:00.000+08:00

Mood : tired
Currently listening to : Butch Walker - Mixtape

i love the song im listening to..it's so meaningful..haha..anyway..i'm just gonna do some random typing and then im gonna run..i had an okay week..right..maybe not THAT okay seeing how stressed i was..but at least i know a week of exams over!5 more days to go!haha..i have chemistry paper 2 and 3 to worry about though..didnt do much studying too..watched the movie hairspray some time ago..i decided zac efron's really goodlooking.LOL!he's got nice BLUE eyes!and hairspray,in my opinion,was FAB!i'm currently really into natasha bedingfield's NB album..i really like the songs..her voice is just so different somehow.i've still been stuffing myself with food..went for a japanese buffet today..had loads of yummy food!i was SO full..and i really like mochi..hehe..and unagi..unagi is REALLY good..haha..and for the first time i tried eating soft-shelled crab and those tiny lil crabs..i felt sorry for them but they tasted nice..haha!oh yea..tried wasabi ice cream also..it was awful..LOL!really "hot" and "spicy"..you know..the wasabi way..*shudders* and i really like one tree hill!!james lafferty!!lol!!i watched i now pronounce you chuck and larry too..it was not bad..funny but the plots kinda simple..like most comedies are..but it was still enjoyable..haha..oh yeah..i also finally bought the book i really wanted to read..it's 'i kissed dating goodbye' by joshua harris..it was expensive though..cost me 40 bucks..but never mind..i know it's worth it..=) anyway..i'm going shopping tomorrow and now i'm sleepy so i'll type some other time....xoxo

same old me..

2007-09-16T22:34:00.000+08:00

Mood : Feeling slightly emo yet happy..is that possible?
Currently listening to : Gotta Go My Own Way - High School Musical 2

Hey!!I had a rather nice day..went for a wedding ceremony..got ang pau..hehe!had choc chip ice cream..haven't had it for a long time..it was yummy!hmm..and i've been munching on all d nice kuih available currently..there's this brown kuih which is abit spongy and it's shaped like a tiny angel cake..i like it!tried on some bikini's today at the mall but they didn't look good..i am yet to find the perfect one for me!*sob* lol!i also bought pumps..they're white..my first pair of pumps!i'm so proud..!but so much for my 'not spending money on shopping' rule..argh..anyway,i found this on a friend's blog..i find it extremely meaningful..i can really relate to it..*staring into space* hope she doesn't mind me for taking it..=/ and i edited it slightly..lol!

break-ups often happen.
we break-up because we stop compromising.
don't you think so?
it's because you stop giving in.
sometimes we break-up because feelings fade away.
or may be because we've fallen in love with another.
do you blame him because he fell for another?
or do you blame yourself because you weren't good enough?
to some of us, break-ups are a big impact in life
it hurts you so dearly, but not intentionally.
it may change your life, but that's if you let him in too deep.

"he can't hurt you if you don't let him"

so, why take the risk and hurt yourself?
why not live free and free from problems?
why fall in love when you know you're not ready?
break-ups often hurt another.
it's not like we want it to happen.
but sometimes its for the better.

"if it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

you cant force love, even if he's stop loving you.
look around, you're not alone.
it takes time to move on, may be a month or two
sometimes may be even a year.
take your time, no one's rushing you
its easy to fall in love, but its hard to fall out of love.

"everything happens for a reason"

and now i found these quotes on some website and i find them nice so yea..

you don`t think that i knew you well?
maybe i didn`t know the exact town you were born in, or the time of day that you were born.
maybe i didn`t know the names of all your aunts &uncles, &maybe i got some of the names of your old friends mixed up.
but don`t try to tell me that i didn`t know you.
i could see by the way you looked when i passed you in the hallway what type of day you were having.
when you answered your phone, i could tell what you were doing or how much fun you were having.
i knew when something was really wrong, because your face lost its brightness
& i knew when you just needed a friend because i could tell from the sound of your voice.
don`t try to tell me i didn`t know you.
i knew you more than anyone else.
don`t say i forgot about you either.
because it`s obviously you who forgot about me.

i guess its typical to cling to memories you`ll never get back again & to sort through old photos of a summer long ago.

i never thought i`d reach another end, when all i want is to be myself again. so why so soon? we were having so much fun. sometimes, i wish i`d never learned to run. ask me why i`m sad, i`ll say it`s not so bad. i`ve done too much growing up today

i always thought we`d make it through anything, & i kind of still believe it. yeah, i have a new boyfriend & you found someone else, too. but i still have this feeling deep inside me that someway, somehow, we`re going to end up together.

no thanks to you, i`m scared to fall in love again. first of all, you broke my heart when i expected you to be the last one to do it. and now, i`m left with my heart broken & in pieces & you don`t even bother to notice. it`s sad, cause all along i thought you knew me better than everyone else. but now i am starting to wonder if you even knew me at all.

sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. that doesn`t make you a bad person. it just means your heart`s too big.

i don`t want another pretender to disillusion me one more time
whispering words of forever..playing with my mind.
i need someone to hold on to
the kind of love that won`t fly away
i just want someone to belong to.

isn`t it funny how you can think you`re completely over someone
but if you drive past his house,
stumble upon a meaningful song you both shared,
or even get a glance of him on the street..
just in an instant, it can change all that?
and you start to remember the pain.
and that hollow space is feeling more & more like the Grand Canyon with every second that goes by.
but you bury these feelings deep down, so deep that you`re sure no one will be able to tell.
to the outside world, you smile & act like nothing`s wrong or will ever be.
everything`s just perfect.

i sit here crying, and you know what i`m realising? that it`s okay to cry, cause i lost something that i really cared about, something that i`m not too sure that i can ever get back, you. and even though i know your not crying over me, i still can`t let go. cause i love you. i`m not sure how. but i do & it`s okay to cry.

i can`t stand him hurting me. i can`t stand him using me. but unlike him,i just can`t walk away. i can`t forget what we had. it`s not that easy for me to let go of something that was once in my life.i guess it actually mattered to me ..

you taught me many things
like how it feels to miss someone so bad
it feels like a part of you is missing. but
i can tell you one thing
now that you have gone
i never will forget you
you left your mark.

dance in the streets. sing in the hallway. shake it like a laffy taffy. scream at the top of your lungs. randomly talk to people. eat candy until you wanna puke. throw things at the screen at movie theaters. make a new friend. freak people out. trip over nothing. do the "mary poppin" foot thingy. fall in mid air. push your friends into random people. pass notes in class. leave notes in random people's lockers proclaiming your love for them. fall in love with someone all over again. hug your friends. give "special" hugs to your "special" friends. smack a guy across the face because you feel like it. defend yourself. tell your parents you're glad to have them. be crazy. jump high over little rocks screaming, "i can conquer anything." just live it up.

"Tell him that I don't love him and that I don't need him anymore.Tell him that I don't miss him and that I don't want to see him at all. But most of all..Don't tell him I said all this with tears in my eyes."

It's scary to think
how different your life would be
if you never met the person
that changed EVERYTHING

This is love, isn't it? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?

hi hi!

2007-09-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

Mood : kinda sleepy but still excited for no reason
Currently listening to : Faber Drive - Tongue Tied

wow..it's been a while since i last typed!let's see..i've been for a lot of shopping..bought lotsa stuff..totally unneccesary stuff too..haha..but i can't help it!!oh well...curbing this shopaholic habit by NOT going out..LOL!but i got my jeans miniskirt!so one thing of my list! been eating ALOT too!TGIF has this promotion where you can eat a main dish,appetizer and dessert..i like the salad and spare ribs..and the mocha mud pie is AWESOME..i REALLY like TGIF's food..and now's mooncake season which means FAT..haha..plus it's puasa month which means lotsa yummies to eat..my year end exams are coming too!haven't been studying much but i'm trying!! currently on a song download frenzy..i'm trying to broaden my music genre's..listening to more alternative..they're good..=) oh yea..i just watched high school musical 2 today!it's okay but i like the songs they sang..some of the song lyrics were really sweet..i love musicals!!love music and singing to be more exact..haha..i want to watch Hairspray..and probably gonna watch 'the notebook' tomorrow..need to get my eyes ready for the waterworks..hehe..jap lessons are getting more and more confusing..i just so want to make sure i master japanese..i want to be able to converse in at least 4 languages..haha..recently been getting lotsa mood swings too..i hope it goes away..cause i tend to snap at people and i feel awful after that..oh yea..also been attending youth..it's kinda fun..the pastor's really good..i like his sermons..anyway..i can't wait for exams to be over..i promised myself a little treat(which has to do with shopping) if i studied properly for the exam..haha..oh..and did i mention i'm totally into one tree hill?!nathan is HOT!!well,james lafferty IS hot..haha..i like bethany joy galleoti's voice..it's really nice!!really like her song 'Halo' too..anyway..i gotta run..wanna get some shut eye..byebye!=P

have you..

2007-08-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

have you ever wondered how it would be like if things didn't turn out this way?
have you thought through everything that happened yet still don't understand it?
have you ever wondered why people would say things they didn't mean
make promises they couldn't keep,and that forever really isn't forever?
have you felt like you wanted to say everything that is contained in your heart
but you look around and find no one to tell it to?
or are you just afraid?
afraid to trust people
afraid that when you do trust that person
they'll let you down?
afraid to open your heart and let that person see "you"
have you learned not to hope too much,not to expect to much,not to give too much?
have you felt what it's like to give a part of yourself away
only to realise that maybe it never meant much to that person?
have you ever wondered if you'd ever experience those feelings again?
you know that one day you will,but are you scared?
have you ever wondered why you want the memories to go to the back of your mind
yet they flood your whole mind everytime,everyday?
have you ever felt the feeling of your heart breaking or being pierced through
and you don't know what to do except shed tears and wish it'd go away?
have you ever felt that painful feeling?
have you ever felt the way i feel?
have you???

"fab" life..

2007-08-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

haven't typed in here for some time...so let's see..recently i've been feeling really emo..ugh..i went to joshua's birthday party yesterday..it was kinda fun except for the fact that in sick..i have gastric and wind..it's a killer!been going on for 3 days already..so painful..i am currently ADDICTED to one tree hill...it rocks!!james lafferty is HOT!!and the world badminton championships just ended today and it was okay..btw..bao chunlai is SO HANDSOME!lol..i've admired him for ages..ish ish..lol!school holidays just started two days ago so i painted my nails and they look really pretty!at least it's one way to perk myself up..lol!i also really like howie day's song "Collide"...it's so soulful..i just like listening to it..i also went to a book fair last saturday and i bought three novels at really cheap prices!!

Secrets of Love

2007-07-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

The First Secret - The Power Of Thought
***********************************
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her/him when you meet her/him.

The Second Secret - The Power Of Respect
************************************
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, “What do I respect about myself?” To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself “What do I respect about them?”

The Third Secret - The Power Of Giving
**********************************
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The Fourth Secret - The Power Of Friendship
***************************************
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love’s seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The Fifth Secret - The Power Of Touch
**********************************
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The Sixth Secret - The Power Of Letting Go
*************************************
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you , it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. “Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.”

The Seventh Secret - The Power Of Communication
********************************************
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: “I Love you.” Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and..why are you waiting?

The Eighth Secret - The Power Of Commitment
****************************************
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The Ninth Secret - The Power Of Passion
***********************************
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Tenth Secret - The Power Of Trust
*********************************
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels wrapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, “Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?” If the answer is “no”, think carefully before making a commitment.

normal nonsense..hehe..

2007-07-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

Mood : err..not really sure..haha!

Currently listening to : Mcfly - Guy Who Turned Her Down

i feel better now compared to this afternoon..sometimes,i don't know..i just burst..all the emotions i work so hard to push away n control just spill out i guess..takes time doesn't it?=) anyway anyway..i went to swensen's and had YUMMY ice cream!!mmm...it was so tasty..lol!i had frosted chocolate malt..it was fabulous..lol!!look at the picture of the yummy ice cream i had!looks good doesn't it?haha..i so feel like shopping..next on my list is 1.a white handbag 2.turquoise handbag 3.red handbag 4.pumps 5.nude or peach nail polish 6.white shorts and miniskirt and jeans 7.jeans,jeans shorts and jeans miniskirt ...i think that's all for now..lol!!

today..

2007-07-22T16:33:00.001+08:00

i don't know what's up with me today but i've been crying so much!!it sucks..my weekend has been okay..went for dad's birthday dinner yesterday in tgif.i had a lovely meal..and great dessert..mocha mud pie-yummy!!and i had half rack beef ribs..and mac and cheese..it was fabulous!!haha..i bought a new dress!!i think i look good in it..turquoise..pretty colour..=) but recently i've been pigging out alot..so i told myself that i gotta eat healthily again because cake,ice cream and chocolate everyday really is unhealthy and so far i've been doing good!!lol..hope i can keep this up..=) it's raining now and the rain's really nice..i just feel so aaahh..*dreamy* later going to swensens for ice cream!!guess my diet really is gonna go haywire..but WHATEVER!!lol!

more quotes!! =)

2007-07-22T15:46:00.000+08:00

seeing that i'm in such a mood for sappy sad love quotes..i'll just put them here..

What can you do when the only one who can stop you from crying, is the one making you cry

It takes hours for someone to have the guts to say "I love you" to someone, weeks to admire, days to miss that someone, months to love, but just a blink of an eye to say goodbye.

I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow, and me tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life.

Oh, I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are, but I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart. I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before because I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

I'm scared to fall in love. Afraid to love so fast....because every time I fall in love it seems to never last.

When a guy says "the last thing I'd wanna do is hurt you" it just means he's gotta do other things first.

I'll never forget the times we shared, and I'll never forget how much you once cared, now it's over but I have one more thing to say, If I had a four leaf clover, I'd wish for one more day.

I would rather be physically hurt than emotionally, because you can put a band-aid on your finger, but you can't put one on your heart.

You aren't thinking about me at all...my eyes are holding back the tears...my pride wont let you see me act as a fool...I'll be damned if I let you know that I still feel something for you...

It hurts to realize that the people you thought you'd love for life don't love you as much as you thought they did and can do without you as if they never knew you at all.

Though he said he'll leave you never, remember now he's gone forever..

You hug him good-bye like its nothing, while all you want to do is hold on forever, but you let go, smile and walk away. Then cry all the way home cuz you know it will never be the same, because try as you might, you cant make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free, and letting go, that is when love hurts most of all.

Thanks for the friendship, thank you for the smile. Thanks for the love you showed, though only for a while. True my heart was broken, and yes my eyes did cry, but the pain is all over now, 'cause I have learned to say good-bye..

You always said you hate to see me hurt, you hate to see me cry, so all of those times you hurt me, were you closing your eyes?

"I told you I'd never say good-bye, now I'm slipping on the tears you made me cry. Why does it come as a surprise? To think I was so naive. Maybe it didn't mean so much to you, but it meant everything to me." ~Nine Inch Nails

Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name, and someone asked if I knew you. Looking away, I thought of all the times we had together, sharing laughter, tears, jokes, and tons more, and then with out an explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly 'once... I thought I did.'

I'd much rather be your lover than your friend, but I'd much rather be your friend than your nobody.

It hurts to see all these couples everywhere. Holding hands, kissing or even just looking at each other with this burning light in their eyes. It's so wonderful, but makes me so jealous at the same time, because all the things they have I once had with you and want with you.

I never knew how quickly I would go, from someone that you loved to someone you used to know..

I didn't realize how much I loved him until he was standing there and he wasn't mine any more.

If someone you love hurts you, then you don't love them. You love who you thought they were.

Sometimes I'll look at you and wonder if you ever look at me. Sometimes I'll think of you and wonder if you ever think of me. Sometimes I'll remember how I fell in love with you and wonder if you ever really loved me.

quotes..quotes..

2007-07-22T15:20:00.000+08:00

hey..these are nice meaningful quotes(at least to me)..just feel like putting them here..

You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My G-d, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens.

I used to always think that I'd look back on us crying and laugh, but I never thought I'd look back on us laughing and cry.

"Dear Lord, I pray At the end of this day I'll look back at the choices I've made: The time that I've spent, The places I went, The things that I've chosen to say, The thoughts that I had (The good and the bad) The number of times that I prayed, And that I'll decide I really HAVE tried, And I'd live it again the same way."

Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with...

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.

They say talk is cheap...but I bought every word.

It wasn't supposed to end this way, you werent supposed to mean this much to me.

I pretend I don't really care
I feel my heart beat with despair
I tough my eyes to stop all the tears
I worry you help bring back all my fears
I cry because we will forever be apart
I am a lonely teenage girl with a broken heart

Same old story
Boy loves girl
They fall in love
Girl falls harder for boy
Girl ends up with the heartache
Things never do change.

Sometimes I wish I could fast forward to see if it was even worth it

True love
Is when you shed a tear & still want him.
It's when he ignores you & you still love him.
It's when he loves another girl, But you still smile & say, "I'm happy for you."
When all you really want to do is cry.

Behind every untrusting girl,is a guy who taught her to be that way.

2007-07-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

Currently : bored
Music : Maroon 5 - Infatuation

I.A.M.BoReD.N.LoNeLy.Haha..seriously,i feel so alone..like where's everyone?my weekend is going to be another boring weekend.i 'baked' a cake today but it came out funny.oh well,at least i tried!haha..it doesn't taste THAT bad..=P and i cooked fried rice..i achieved stuff!haha..next thing i want to tackle-fudge brownies!yummy! and about feeling lonely,i don't know why..maybe i just feel like pitying myself..?my life seems very monotonous.what is there i can do that will make it more interesting?i have problems sleeping and i get bad dreams..it started recently..ugh..

2007-07-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

List of what I'd like to do during the coming week :
1.watch God save our king! until episode 15 at least(i'm only at 6)
2.work out and lead a healthy lifestyle!(a constant battle)
3.read my current storybook and 'sex,lies...and the truth!' as much as possible
4.read SHAPE mag!^_^
5.SHOP!!
6.sing my head off to fun tunes!
7.love and pamper myself

xoxo

meaningful..

2007-07-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

You make me believe
You are the one for me it seems
But now I find its hard
The way you're treating me, it's mean
Time after time I keep changing my mind
And I can't get myself over you

The moment you leave me
The moment you're gone
I don't think that I could last another minute
When we're together
Something so strong
And I don't think that we could ever find a limit

Each time you were down
I helped you on your feet with love
Just as soon as you were ready to
You left me on my own again

When you lie that you love me
And small promises you couldn't keep
How I tried to believe you
But my tears they just cut so deep
And I can't get myself over you
The moment you leave me
The moment you're gone.

2007-07-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

Mood : okay but slightly sleepy??
Currently listening to : BBMAK - get you through the night

I am currently in love with aaron carter's song - keep believing!it is really meaningful(to me at least)..but oh well..the song is worth hearing!today was a fun day( i guess)..went to church..then i went to some huge 'sale' and bought LOTS of stuff etc. body lotion,mascara,leave-in conditioner..tons of kitkat..haha..it was GREAT!!I love shopping!as usual,my diet this weekend is totally topsy-turvy..i was scarfing down chocolate in the 'sale' and had a banana,orange yoghurt,yam cake and 'kek lapis' for lunch..go figure..went to parade with my sis after that(time to bond) and muahaha..i continued shopping!!bought meself earrings,a nice hairtie,and an anklet!i also saw a CUTE red bag and a FAB pastel purple dress..thinking of dragging my mummy to go look at them..hehe..did i mention i LOVE shopping?lol!then i ate mcds chocotop ice cream..i'm seriously a chocoholic..i don't know why but i'm kinda enjoying this 'free' feeling i'm experiencing..hopefully i feel this happy for as long as possible..=) and i haven't completed my maths homework but WHATEVER.i did addmath by accident actually.oops!^_^"

After Goodbye

2007-07-07T17:28:00.000+08:00

I thought I heard you whisper, Between the broken light
I turned to see, to see you fade away
Sometimes I sit and wonder, Just how you could be gone
And tell me why forever couldn't stay

Remember never walk away, never walk away we used to say
I thought we were here to stay, guess we had to go our separate ways
After goodbye
I remember you
You'll always be a part of me I'll hold on to
And after goodbye
No matter what I do I'll never be that far away
I'll be there for you
Even after goodbye

I'll still feel every teardrop, I keep them here inside
But I always thought, I thought that we can't fight

Remember never walk away, never walk away we used to say
I thought that we were here to stay, guess we had to go our separate ways
After goodbye
I remember you
You'll always be a part of me I'll hold on to
And after goodbye
No matter what I do I'll never be that far away
I'll be there for you
Even after goodbye
I'll always remember
With every step I take
The dreams that we shared
I'll never let them go
I'll hold them forever more
I swear

2007-07-07T16:58:00.000+08:00

Oh..this is me first time posting in here so i might just rant for a bit..haha..erm..went to SU's canteen day today..it was kinda fun..was scarfing down chocolate like i had never had it before!=) i also happened to be T.V.'s 'knocking toy' since my foot got stepped on,i got hit(by accident of course,poor me),got pushed..ish ish..but he was a rather fun "date"..he bought me a chocolate milkshake!i also had the chance to meet with "someone special" but it left me feeling kinda down in the end..somehow i think i should just give up.i should just stop bothering about someone who doesn't bother about me right?after a while,memories are just that-memories.that's all they'll ever be..oh well,at least T.V. tried to perk me up..we went "fishing" and i caught more fishies than he did!!hahahaha!=P